I Spent My Yarn Money on a Tattoo

Really, I was just with Anjie and Jess for support. Before we left the house I called Brian, aka Tat Boy, to ask a couple of questions for Anj. "No," I said, "I am not going to get a tattoo."

When they told me they were going to get apples I laughed. The design turned out to be very cute. When we got there, Anjie was all set for big pain. It hurt but not like she thought it would. Lil' Round told us it would only take about 7 minutes. Cool. Except for the hot flash, she did great. She was wondering why her oldest son passed out when he got his.

Look no tears.

Jess is not a first timer. By the way, her tattoo artist gave us some classroom hints involving the use of Jolly Ranchers.

Arm twisting never came into play. I found myself in the chair.

As Lil Round was working in my foot Anjie and I were talking about going to the new yarn store that just opened in town. All of a sudden it hit me and I exclaimed, "I just spent my yarn money on a tattoo!" Lil Round stopped his work to chuckle. He said he was going to share that with the lady that does their piercing because she is a knitter. He thinks my next tat should be a skull with knitting needles going through it. I have seen this design on a t-shirt. I won't say never becasue this morning I really did not imagine myself sitting in that chair.

In case you are wondering in Alan was fine with it. What can I say? He loves me. The kids were not impressed. I think this leaves only Tammy, Kevin and Alan unadorned. Am I right? Oh wait, and the parents.

We found the name of this product fun:

Finally, the end product looks awesome with my red heels.

I will get a group picture tomorrow.

That Which Spellcheck Does Not Catch

Both Jenee and Cole tend to keep their teachers on their toes. Today J scored big on finding a teacher's error. The teacher had made a crossword for the class. The clue was supposed to be something like "Fortifications broken by the Germans" but what she had down was "Fornifcations broken by the Germans."

J said that her teacher got a good laugh.

A Simple "Yes" Would Suffice

One of the mom's from Cole's baseball team called me to ask about what kind of baseball pants to get for her son. Her son has not played official little league baseball. On the rec team they just wore shorts or even jeans. I explained that she should get her son some sliding pants and a cup in addition to his baseball pants. I didn't know if all of the boys wear a cup and frankly, I leave all of that up to Alan. Since Cole plays catcher sometimes I am pretty sure that he usually wears one. I relayed the conversation to Cole. I asked him if he still has sliding pants. He said he had them on. Then I asked if he had a cup. He responded by knocking on his crotch.

Well there is some unforgettable feedback!

The Rest of the Story

Ok, so the comments were a little weak, especially given that two were from Cole and one from Mary, both of whom heard it all ready.

Our dryer was not working so we called the repair guy. He was a very nice young man by the name of Robert. Robert was very chatty, but in a good way. Jenée got home from school as Robert was preparing the bill at the kitchen counter. I handed J her 2 pieces of mail with a comment about one piece of mail being from Notre Dame. The three of us had a brief discussion about colleges. We then moved on to talking about music and mp3's. Robert continued with the bill as J opened her mail.

All of a sudden J pipes up with, "Hey! I won free underwear." Ahh. The second piece of mail. Usually Jenée has no shame and does not get embarrassed easily. Today was not usual. She turned bright red. I looked over at Robert and he is shaking quietly with laughter and he too is a bit red in the face. I made some comment about this being a nice story to share. He then says, "I have heard of people winning the lottery but never underwear." Well, there is a first for everything.

Robert had to make another trip to our house later that week. Fortunately, he came before the mail did.

That is the story. We hope that you got a giggle from it. We did. So did Robert.

Giving Thanks We Lived to Tell....For Now Anyway

My dad conned me into doing Thanksgiving. Ok. He just asked. I decided that everybody would make their favorite dish. That meant I would make mashed potatoes, Jenée would make pie, Alan would make green bean casserole. When i asked Cole what his favorite dish was I am guessing he missed why I was asking because he said "Turkey, I guess." Yes. The boy found himself in charge of making the turkey. Sharon, my mentor teacher, had mercy on his little soul and actually bought him some Reynold's cooking bags. (Thank you Sharon!)



After dinner Alan and I were picking up and somebody said something about the dinner being good and I promise you my dad said "Not bad for being in the freezer for two years." !!!!!!!! Please dear lord, tell me the man was joking. No. He was not joking. Listen, if you do not hear from us by Monday, check on us. We may all be at the hospital getting IV's.

Later Alan said "Next year we buy the turkey." I quickly said "I am not cooking next year." Alan countered with "No. We are BUYING the turkey." Ahh. Good man.

Time to look for the syrup of ipecac.

Thanks for the Heads-up!

Cole walked in from soccer. Atticus greeted him with a sniff of the butt. Cole's response? "Hey. Get away from there. Nobody's been there."

Maybe We Should Become Amish and Eliminate All Forms of Media

Oh how I wish I could remember how this conversation transpired. It did remind me of the Justin Timberlake/Anne Frank/Aretha Franklin conversation. Jenee was very tired today after not being able to sleep last night. Cole was giving her crap about it. He told her she could "go back to Sleepyville." After a considerable pause he said "I was going to say Viagra Falls. Wait. Is that an allergy medicine?" Uhh. No. The rest of the conversation is a bit fuzzy after that as we were trying not to spew food from our mouths as we laughed. Mean while he was left wondering what Viagra is. He said he has seen the commercials where they sing "Viva Viagra." I told him that I could tell him but we would have to talk about....At this point he covered his ears and said "No."

Now We Know Why Germans Like Their Beer So Much

Our town has really tried to bring some vitality to the downtown area. For the second year in a row they brought musical groups in on Friday evenings. Last week there were African Drums. We missed that performance. This week was a German band. I have such happy memories of Germany with music and lively dancing. Also, I could not help to think about being in Ft. Lauderdale with Mary and her family a few summers ago. We had blankets and the kids ran around. It was a good time.



Like I said, our town is trying....


Somehow, this was not part of my memory.
Neither was this:



This lady and her puppet danced(?) together every, freakin', song. That does not take me back to my days in Deutschland.



Just another face in the crowd enjoying the music.



Believe it or not, this dog does not belong to the lady depicted above.

The goal was to entertain and we were in fact entertained. Cole and John picked through the grass and finally found the largest piece of grass! Jenée read a book. Alan just stared in disbelief. Mary and I laughed. In fact throughout the evening, back at our respective houses, the hint of a smile would appear across our faces with our new memories of outdoor entertainment.

Next week.....Tejano Music!

Ignore the Stuff on the Counter

When Jim, Rico and I were young, Jim used to pick Rico up and throw him into the sofa so hard the sofa would rock back against the wall. Rico would cry and Jim would say "That didn't hurt!" I always wondered how Jim knew that. Well Cole may not have been flung by a sibling, but I am guessing that nobody would tell him "that didn't hurt!"

Yes. Those are stitch marks from the baseball embossed on Cole's arm. As you can see in the next picture, he is pretty proud of his battle wound. What you cannot see is that I wrote "Mom" in the layer of dirt on his face.















By the way, the game was not one to brag about... well, Cole did score the only run. We will brag about that.

Update on J: She is doing great. She has a check-up soon.

Never Stop Learning

Yesterday J, Cole and I were playing Trivia Pursuit, the '90's edition.

Cole got this question:
"What controversial items did the New York City school system start supplying to students in 1991?"

J: You're not going to let him answer that are you?

Me: Sure. (Cole looks smug) (Me to Cole) But this means we have to talk about sex.

Cole: Forget it!

Dang. I really was hoping to have that condom talk as a family.

We are not Moving!

Jenée and I were talking about Anna Nicole Smith. She had been watching her E! True Hollywood Story. She saw something about Anna's husbands funeral. I told her that when he died People Magazine had a story and some pictures. In the picture you could see one of Anna Nicole's nipples. I commented on it in front of Norm. Jenée then said "You are lucky you don't live in one of those countries where they beat their daughter-in-law's."

In case you are wondering (of course you are). She has been reading Woman's Inhumanity to Woman. She says it is a good book. I guess that depends on whether you are a daughter-in-law or not.

Looking to Add a New Lawn Ornament

Yesterday Jenée and I were sitting in the family room. Cole and Alan were at Cole's soccer game. Something moved in my periphial vision in the back yard. 4 deer were in the backyard. They had run through the neighborhood, then between our house and the neighbors on the north side of us, over their fence, over our fence into our backyard, over the back fence and took a little break in the yard of one of the houses behind us. I tried to get my camera but I was not quick enough. All of our neighbors were out in their backyards with jaws dropped. Lucky for us the dogs were in the house. The dog behind us was chained up and stood looking in the direction the deer traveled for about 20 minutes.

Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben

Ben Franklin has been a topic of converstation lately. First John dressed as Dear Ol' Ben for his schools wax museum (need to see pictures Mary). Then Ben was portrayed on The Office. Today Jenee announced that Ben was a topic of discussion in American studies. The teacher was talking about Ben.

Jenee asked "Wasn't he an....employer?" The teacher responded "You had to bring that up didn't you?"

"And didn't he have syphilis?" J
"Yes."

The teacher went on to say "Ben Franklin was a poet, a very smart man, a short squat man who woo'd the ladies....he was...he was...

and Jenee filled in the blank with "Man Whore?"

Can we say 4 point uh-oh?